April Fools' Day 2001

Ahh, can you believe it? This was the fifth year of April Fools' madness here at The Tool Page, and this year looks like it was a success. Of course, when do I not say that? Some people are still convinced that this gag is pulled off by the band; it is merely a concoction of my own sleep-deprived mind. Anyhow, read on for the joke, the impact, the reactions, and the general mayhem.

As before, the message below (posted to News all day on April 1, 2001) was just another example that we must be careful what we believe. Especially when I just randomly quote a large chunk of a Rolling Stone article ... you might want to consider that I made it up. Come on, nobody writes with language this flowery...

The Original Posting

The front page of the site was changed to say:

something awful has happened

The News page featured this post:

[04/01/01] - A lot of you have already sent in mail about this, sorry it didn't get posted until just now. An exclusive interview with Danny posted to Rolling Stone's website last night includes a statement from him confirming the rumor that has been going around (I didn't want to post it until it was 100% certain) that effective today, he will no longer be playing with Tool. Here is the relevant secti on of the article:
Tool's drummer extraordinaire, Danny Carey, arguably the most under-recognized percussionist of our time, shocked this reporter with the flat-out statement "I am leaving Tool." But why would someone who has enough fans that a parade could be held in his honor vacate the drummer's stool of the art metal juggernaut now, as the band is poised to release the most anticipated LP in years? And why tell a journalist who was just stopping by the office to hear the new record for the first time, maybe conduct a brief interview about his opinion of the fans? A soft-spoken drawl brings the answers. "There comes a time when everybody has to realize what is right for them, and what they are on this earth to do." Citing other bands who have gone on without their drummers, notably REM without Bill Berry and the Smashing Pumpkins without Jimmy Chamberlain, he says that he knows Tool will continue to excel musically without him. "Those other bands went on strong even after losing a member," points out Carey from his Malibu beach house. "I know the guys will pick up the pieces just as we did when Paul [D'amour, Tool's original bassist] left. We're all still friends, and I'm sure I will miss the creative process we have all shared ... but now is the time for me to go." The journalist, his hand shaky as he fumbled with his tape recorder, looked down for a minute, then looked back up at the large frame of Carey - only to find he wasn't standing there anymore. And just like Keyser Soze - he was gone.
The articles goes on to say that "Lateralus" will be released on schedule, and that all scheduled tour dates have not as yet been cancelled. A spokesperson for the band's management was quoted as saying "Tool is very sorry to see one of their founding members leave so abruptly. There are no bad feelings between any of the band members, and we all wish Danny well." The full article will hopefully be posted here soon. No word has come in yet about who Tool is thinking of getting to fill on might do the job. This picture accompanies the original article posting, It is indeed a sad day in Tool land. Tool has set up a special website with information on Danny's departure; I don't have any information other than what is posted there, so don't send in email to me - keep your eye on dannyleavestool.com.

That last link popped up a new window saying:

You are now leaving toolshed.down.net.

You will automatically be transported to dannyleavestool.com in a few seconds.

While you are waiting, Happy April Fools' Day.

The Effect

I was worried about 4/1 being on a Sunday, since hits do drop to the site over weekends, but more people wrote in this year than any year since 1997. The reactions were varied as always, but the tone was very different. Most people who wrote in did in fact fall for it until they clicked through to the "Happy April Fools" page, but even those who didn't all seemed to agree this that this year's prank was more funny-since-you-fell-for-it than I-actually-believed-it.

Many folks went so far as to compare this year's fun to that of years past, many saying that I "could never outdo the 1997 Bus Crash", a few saying that "I probably wasn't even trying to" (I'm not, by the way -- that was just serendipitous), and a whole lot of people trying to rank this one against the others. People seemed to think this was the best one yet, people thought that this one "fell flat" and was hardly believable or funny. Either way, this one continued the trend of odd-year jokes having a better effect (1999's "Floorpail" gag gets more fanmail than 2000's "April 31st show" and 1998's Hard Drive Crash).

In fact, two websites picked up the story and posted it as if it was their own - wickedland.com and at brakeout.net had the following post:

Rolling Stone reports that Danny Carey, in a recent interview, has decided to quit the band. The band claims there are no grudges and they whish him the best in the future. There is no word yet of who the replacement will be for Tool's upcoming tour, but rumors are spreading that APC's Josh Freeze may fill in. wickedland.com: 2001-04-01 14:02:26 CST by Matt Konrardy (source: toolshed.down.net).
Come on. Keyser Soze? Apologies to Rolling Stone for mocking their style.

The Responses

So apart from faking out a few other sites, nobody took it waaay too seriously. Well, a few people report calling friends of theirs in tears, but that's hardly serious damage, is it? Here's what a few of y'all had to say, including the main themes: soiling yourself, suggesting Maynard leaving would have been better, admitting tears and fear, saying your heart stopped, calling me a bastard...

Ha Ha! You fucking got me, goddamn it. That was very believable, man. 
Awesome job. I really thought he was leaving (almost called my 
girlfriend and fellow Tool fan at 1 A.M.). Every year, man, you pull 
it off beautifully. Nice one.

that was pretty good, but predictable, not as good as the site being 
down one a couple of years ago,but got a laugh though,

your latest news posting sent more than a few alarm bells ringing. 
Now, i'm not the sharpest tool in the shed(all puns intended), but 
i've been caught out with the old Tool April fool thing before. Not 
this time though!! I guess there must be quite a few newbies out 
there who are frantically running around their school yards spreading 
this like wildfire.

That scared the shit out of me.  I was shocked to the core man. 
Thank you for not waiting a whole day to post the fakeness

hahah well done man, you got me and all my friends GOOD with that 
danny carey thing...i almost started crying !! i fully thought it was 
true...GODDAMN!! Bravo, one of the best april fools gags ive ever 

*clap* *clap* *clap* Nice one Kabir... If I wasn't expecting it, I 
would've been fooled... after the crappy april fools jokes I've seen 
so far today, it's nice to see one done right....

after a few years of falling victim to your april 1st madness... i 
finally remembered what day it was and didn't fall for it this time! 
this was a good one, though. i suppose that the emotional trauma of 
the bus incident from a previous year should be enough to keep me 
from ever falling for another one...

Damn, you bastard!  Every friggin' April 2nd, I say... "I'll never 
let Kabir fool me again...", and then 364 days later, every April 
1st, I feel my blood curdle, and I get a lump in my throat as I fear 
something terrible has happened to my favorite band... only to 
realize it's April 1st again...  Pezzo di merda, figlio di puttana. 
:)  Keep the tradition alive.

dannyleavestool.com, Keyser Soze, icing on the cake.

that was one mean fuckin trick.  i just called 15 of my tool-buddies 
and we cried our eyes out over his leaving.  again, that was one mean 
fucking trick

damn i feel stupid, nice gag man, fucking good.  my ass is sitting 
here all like 'why isnt on the official site, this sucks" then it 
hits me.

the april fools day joke was the best yet...[aside from the band 
burning to death in a tour bus crash]-- you really had me on the 
verge of tears [i think]...

I thought the April Fool's Day joke was hilarious.  I knew it was 
coming as soon as I saw the picture on the front page.  I was sort of 
hoping the DannyLeavesTool link would have taken the gag even further 

Come on man...you coulda been more subtle this year, though I suppose 
everyone is expecting the joke, so that makes it pretty tough.

Well, perhaps it was because I was expecting it, but the april fool's 
joke seemed to fall a little flat this year.  Now's your chance to 
start thinking up a really great one for next year...

A better April Fools would have been if you said Lateralus was 
delayed another four or five months.

nice work, dickhead! i only visited the page today for the first time 
in a while to see what you had. frankly, i was disappointed. you can 
do better. "and just like keyser soze.." dork! next year you should 
do a happy one.

when i saw the picture on the intro page i thought danny died or something,
that would have been slightly more scary than the best drummer of all time
leaving the best band of all time.

I dont think you were fooling anyone with this one. I think you need 
to give the april fools thing a rest for a few years. cause thinking 
of something year after year that people would really believe just 
can't be done very easily.

The "news" stopped my heart and almost broght me to tears.  then as I 
click on the dannyleavestool.com link, and read what it said, i sat 
there staring at my screen saying "oh my Fucking god" over and over. 
Good thing I'm on the track team or else i think i would've had a 
heart attack.

you know, the danny leaving tool thing was scary...but all my fears 
went from 99% nonexistent to 100% non-existent when i read the 
supposed quote from danny stating that bands such as REM went on 
strong without their original drummers...could you see danny jamming 
out to "lotus?"

Damn You ..I have fallen for your april fool trick EVERY FUCKING 
YEAR, and not once have i realised it.....I experiacned the most gut 
wrenching feeling when i read that..." No not danny....no...anything 
but that...no.." i hope you rot in a silent non musical hell.

The April Fools Joke was not funny at all. I almost started crying 
when I read that Danny left. But, I guess it's my fault. I should've 
guessed it being that it is a tool page. I just wanted to let you 
know that.

i applaud your writing skills-i was convinced. m'be that's because 
our drummer recently departed my band, but nonetheless, excellent 
joke-you are a true traditionalist. excellent job.

well if i hadn't come to site expecting an April Fool's Day prank
I would probably have crapped myself. Although you didn't trick me this year

im still laughing over....'and like keyser soze-he was gone'...talk 
about over dramatizing even the real possibility of danny leaving. 
its shyte like this that i come back here for

still not as good as the death, but this one is close, considering danny
is god

you are a brilliantly funny man......and a jerk.i so bought it

Best April Fools gag since the bus accident.   I knew it was bogus just
ebcause of the t.d.n. April Fool tradition but it's great how it looks all
official and everything.

if you believe for a minute that any tool fan is going to think
about this for more than a second.. i guess the jokes on you..

i was hoping for something more original, how disappointing.
The comical genius that once was toolshed is slowing getting worse.
I guess the onyl way to truly salvage this april fools joke was if it
was true.. then again, that would in no way be funny! rather a great
loss to us all.

you almost got me... and only cause I'm all doped up on cold medicine. The
picture kinda gave it away to be a joke but shit good one!

As much as I rate your website, to someone who had just finished a 
database assignment for University at 11.58 pm, that was very cruel!!!

I feel like a big stupid catfish,with hook firmly imbedded in jaw. I 
shooda known better!

I realize this was probably the greatest april fool's day gag EVER, 
and I'm also glad that you did let those of us in on it who would 
have never guessed, being the unobservant oafs that we are sometimes, 
but dude, you had me in TEARS!  I was horrified.  Not PC!  OK, but 
anyway, great joke,

Thanks for the early morning heart attack. Fell for it hook, line & sinker.

  nice one but as tool's april fools jokes go, it's not the best 
really is it? it's made us all worried... i must say tool's jokes are 
usually in better taste...

Just as I was pondering over the best way to get my friends and 
coworkers with a spetacular April Fool's prank, you nail me from 
behind. Maybe it's just exhaustion, being up all night at work, and 
all, but I never saw it coming. Love the Keiser Soze reference. "The 
greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making people believe he 
didn't exist." Is it just me or does Maynard look like that dude from 
N'Sync? Hehe.

dude, if that about danny is an april fools joke...then you are a 
dick.  if it is true, i am sorry.

I knew before I go to your website that there would some kind of Tool 
breakup for April fools day.  Although I was prepared for this joke, 
I'm kind of in shock thinking that this might some kind of terrible 
nightmare.  Eventhough I check this site everytime I'm on the net, 
right now I think you're a dick, but your hard work for keeping me up 
to date on Tool will certainly make me forgive you.

Okay Kabir. Nice one. Last year I had a verbal fight with lots of 
people about the whereabouts of the Tool show that was happening on 
"April 31" and none of us caught on. It lasted all day. This year, 
however, I came to the site SPECIFICALLY to see what the prank was 
going to be. Beautiful. You'll have lots of people spooked! Ha!

Jesus Christ, you are the man! I was friggin floored when I read the news
section of the page. Then, I clicked on the link and saw the words "Happy
April Fools' Day." That was a good one. 

kabir you are an ass.

I'll be honest, though; you had me sitting there, thinking i might 
need to have surgery done to replace my jaw, which had just recently 
shattered due to a sudden impact with the cold floor. Then I looked 
at the date, collected my scattered thoughts, and starting writing 
you this note.

The April fool's joke has become a staple to the site and I'm glad 
you kept it in place. With this page as my start page, it always 
loads and as soon as I saw the picture on the main index page, I knew 
it was that time of spring. You only caught me with the "floorpail" 
"anagram" one though, sorry to dissapoint. After hours of searching 
MP3 sites I learned my lesson 2 years ago.

April Fools.... although my heart stopped beating for about 30 
seconds... now, it has returned... seven beats per measure.

I know its apirl fools day and everything but thats just not funny, 
There was actually a fraction of a second in which I thought you were 
serious, shame on you, only good news from now on please

GAHHHHHH!!!  I've been fooled by your April Fools jokes the last two 
years in a row. This year I *promised* myself that I would remember 
April first and
automatically disregard anything Toolshed had posted.  Well, stupid me, I
forgot what today was and my heart sunk when I read that Danny Carey was
leaving Tool.  It wasn't until I clicked on your link and saw "Happy April
Fools' Day. " that it all became clear.

That is the meanest fucking April Fool's day prank ever man!!!!!
why would you even do something that mean! but yet I am still 
intrigued and curious, as if there is a little bit of truth to the 
matter. is it for real?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Umm Not funny bout Danny. Then again I didnt believe it for a second Kabir.

Danny leaves!? No offense, but there didn't seem to be much effort 
put into this years joke. The bus crash joke was outstanding. Chances 
are you will never be able to outdo that one.

i knew that april fools joke was coming. nice try though... more 
predictable each year.. haha..

*sigh* I must admit that you had me for about two seconds, and I 
think I spent those seconds looking at Maynard's flat-top wig.  Those 
two seconds are all you need, so kudos.  Good one this year, but I 
liked last year's April 31 concert better.  Though it might be less 
believable, I would love to have seen the explanation being that 
Danny unlocked the secrets of Crowley and decided to pursue a life of 
black magick instead.  Great picture.

Very well done.  I was definately fooled by the whoe news article.  I 
give you my applause.

i think i'm getting used to the annual april 1st prank you pull on 
all of us. it only took me about 45 seconds to realize that this was 
a hoax. although if i wouldn't have known the date i'd probably be in 
silent mourning right now....

naughty naughty naughty naughty!!!  I take it this was all an April 
fools joke?!  I nearly wet my pants in horror and sorrow until I saw 
the message on the link page.  Naughty, naughty, naughty!!!

oh come on... you could have done better. like maybe posted a copy of schism,
had people download it for 45 minutes, and have it turn out to be like 6 limp
bizkit and papa roach songs or something.

Well, bravo on the ingenius april fool's joke.  I almost believed it 
until I got the notion to check the other two sites that I know would 
have said something of this. Namely Toolband, and Rolling Stone, and 
after discovering nothing at either location, I kicked back with a 
sigh of relief and chuckled to myself ..."..heheh, malibu beach 
house, heheh"

Good God Kabir, couldn't you just leave the greatest april fools prank of all
time to exist without any companions? I mean I am sure this will fool some
people, mostly those who don't know of the horrible crash, but it is quite
far fetched, maybe you could have posted an mp3 of "the entire album" and
have it be some obscure showtune, that would have been classic.  Oh well, I
guess it's not the worst thing in the world, it might weed out a bit. At
least you tried.

you fucking bastard!  i don't know how you do this every fuckin year 
but holy shit!  i fall for this shit every time, i was like FLIPPIN 
man, it was un-fucking-believable.  this is by far the best one to 
date.  you should be shot and pissed on.  haha good work man.

one might think I'd stop falling for this shit by now.  In my tired 
haze I seemed to have forgotten precisely what day it was

fuggin excellent joke!
i dont think anything will come close to the bus accident one though

Great job with the april fools.  I read the entire thing and sat with my jaw
hanging open, making a mental list of friends to call and break the news to.
Fortunately I realized it was a joke before I got to the phone.  Very
convincing--this is one of your best.

Hey, that prank is befitting of the band. I do think, however, that as a
source of news and information, you should not prank us. We are loyal
readers. Quite frankly, I called half a dozen of my friends (and fellow tool
fans) about the break up before I clicked the link. Now I look bad, and your
site, which I cited as a source looks bad too.

that was seriously the best april fools joke in years. i told all my 
friends that he left and then when i found out it was a joke i was 
soooo happy.. dont ever do that again. i almost cryed

"the greatest trick TDN ever pulled was convincing the morons of the 
world that danny carey left tool!"  very funny guys.  I hope danny 
invites me to his malibu home someday and disappears. teeheehee.

dannyquitstool.com... AAAAAAARRRGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You totally kicked my ass man, that was just superb.

Ok, first off, (because I know your going too), get out what ever you 
need to about me being "fooled". Now, is this thing about danny 
leaving an april fools day joke, or not.

what an incredible co inky dink that danny left tool on april fools 
day. i even remebered all last week that it was coming up, and you 
still got me. did i really think you would post news updates so close 
together. good job, my hat is off to you.

excellent joke you sick sadistic motherfucker. you had me near tears. 
now that i look back at the article without screaming, i see that the 
strong points were selecting the second most irreplacable member of 
the band and mentioning the "sucess" of REM and the pumpkins in the 
absense of their drummers wich is totally untrue of the pumpkins 
especially. so since i only know your e-mail address, bravo, but if i 
knew where you lived i'd punch you in the neck

Damn, when i saw that picture, for a split second, i thought the band had
broken up. It made my heart race like never before. And then, a second later,
i remember.

Your damn April Fool's jokes get me every year, even after I start 
looking forward to them in mid-March.  Please tell me Maynard's 
Johnny Rotten haircut is part of the prank.

Really, we're just getting over Zack's departure!!!  I
don't know how much more of this I can take!!!
I don't know how you manage to top yourself every
year, Kabir!  You are the messiah of the online April
Fools Day prank!  As usual, you did a great job.  Keep
them coming, even at my heart's risk.

Is this true? Did Danny really leave? toolband.com, doesn't mention 
this at all.

great april fools gag. people were posting like mad on every message 
board. news reached as far as the official "at the drive-in" board.

Nice april fools joke. I went from shock, then to acceptance - to worrying
that my favorite band would not tour this year - and upon reading
dannyleavestool.com, I merely muttered "Ahh fuck you"...and then relief. 

That "joke" was not fucking cool!!!!! With all of the members leaving 
other bands in the last year I wouldn't have been able to take 
another. This isn't the kind of shit you joke about. I don't give a 
shit what fucking day it is. You can kiss my ass.

first of all, i'm a gullable son of a bitch.  second, that was so 
wrong to do that.  i totally forgot about april fools day.  now 
excuse me as i clean the feces out of my pants.

...you son of a bitch!!!!! ha, ha ha. I remember last year's April 
Fools was pretty good and almost got me but this year REALLY had me 
going for a good five minutes or so. I can tell you put in a little 
extra time on this year's April 1st "news" (detailed description of 
the reporter's hands fumbling for the recorder, Kaiser Soze, etc) You 
FUCKER!!!! God, some things are just not nice to do, but I guess are 
funny as hell after the fact.

Wow.  Thats really all I have to say.  I have been coming to this 
site religiously for about a year, and am aware of your april fools 
day jokes in the past.  You nearly gave me a heart attack.  I 
actually choked up while reading the tragic article accompanied with 
the picture.

I'd personally like to thank you for allowing me to soil my boxers 
over the most cruel april fool's prank ever.  Next time, please tell 
me that my mother has died, or that I have cancer from listening to 
Tool too much--anything but taking advantage of my sleepy state at 
the crack of noon by telling me that the greatest mind in percussions 
has left my greatest love in the music industry.

That was dirty. I have been through many april fools with you and I 
still haven't learned. I feel like a fool but a am extremly happy 
that it was jsut a joke. Thanks for the heart attack.

And this year's best letter:

It is truly amazing that one's memory has a life span of less then 365 days..... A dear friend of mine called me up less then an hour ago informing me of the sudden departure of Danny. He starts rambling on to me about how I ( an accomplished drummer) should make my way out to LA to audition as a replacement and that he has $20,000 to invest in my journey. I, not knowing whether I should believe him or not, decide to check your webpage to confirm the validity of this claim. About halfway through the article, it dawns on me what today is. I had to interrupt my dear friend, who was already on the other line with a travel agency booking my flight to LA to inform him that we were amongst the many unwilling victims in your annual April Tool's day fun. Maybe some year.... we will finally learn.

Maybe. Hopefully not =)

It is tough, everyone expecting one, people being prepared. 2002 might have another Foolish day, might not. I keep thinking it would be funny to just post an April Fools joke in the middle of the summer, just to fuck with everyone extremely. Imagine the hateful emails there would be.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled Tool Page.

Check Old News for info on previous April fun.

"Your pal" Kabir Akhtar | kabir@toolshed.down.net