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April Fools' Day 1998

For 23 hours on April 1st, 1998, the following April Fools' Day message was posted to this site, an example to many of us to heed the message of the band that we must be careful what we choose to believe. (See you to the last line in the liner notes of Ænima.)

The Original Posting

Hey guys, this is update 3.

At roughly 1am Wednesday night, the machine went down, as it is wont to do from time to time. We figured it had something to do with the storm causing brownouts or something.

When we rebooted it, we were unable to get the hard drive which holds t.d.n back up. So that wasn't good. After about an hour of playing with it, we've finally gotten it to work, except 84% of the drive media is corrupted. _84%_.

We're still playing with it nonstop, but as of now, it looks like just about all of the files which made up t.d.n are unrecoverable. Like an idiot, I hadn't backed up for about 16 months. So I'm having a real crappy April Fools' Day. And I was planning something good. I suppose this is karma teaching me a lesson.

PLEASE -- if you have any files from t.d.n (excluding audio and video, which live on, any text, any images, any anything, let me know, mail me and say that you have it... DON'T send it, I might already have gotten it.

I hope we can salvage this. Will keep this page updated, we're still working on it.

Mail kabir. [If you actually clicked on that link, you were taken forwards to a form asking for the files you had, and your email address. And if you clicked the button, filled out or not, you got...]

Thanks for your help.

I know, it's a bit weak.

But how do you top last year's accident-al success?

At least this year's joke was interactive.

Thanks to all who came by yesterday for all the help offered in this year's April Fools' Day Crash. (Wow, I hadn't noticed that it was another crash).

I spent some time mulling over various ideas for this year, but in the end, it was another last-minute quickly-concocted plan which made its way online. Though I'll tell you, I was quite concerned with making sure that nothing with horrible backlash potential got posted (yes, it crossed my mind for a second to post that "Tool breaks up amid controversy surrounding OzzFest"). And it looks like this year, nobody (in a bus or otherwise) got too hurt.

Of course, though making MTV last year was a trip, I wasn't trying to accomplish that this time around. (Hell, I wasn't trying last year either.) I have to say I was amazed how many files you guys have from the site. Should such a horrible mechanical failure ever occur at t.d.n, and all backups are lost, it looks like a good portion of the meat of the site is out there in cache folders. Lucky for all of us, perhaps.

The Responses

Many of the letters I got this year were like those from last year, but these involved less fear, and were generally more pleasant and without controversy. Here are some of the best, anonymously.

      Its all on its way  All my files are in my next email .. Just
kiddin I knew ya were up ta somethin...thought Id yank your chain as

     'Hey guys, this is update 3...' you just can't resist, can you?  at
least the band's okay this time. heh heh heh. happy 4/1 to ya.  =]

     Sorry I found it before april 1st here... Iwont tell anyone but I
must say you had me worried.

      HAHAHAHA!!!  I don't think so, big guy.  You're not going to scare
the piss out of me two years in a row.  Great gag, but as you can tell,
I'm writing you from the feedback form, which just _happens_ to still be
on toolshed.  Hmmmm...I just can't wait to see how many people get

      you are sooooo good at april fools jokes. i would hate to be your
girlfriend....  it was a good on, *A REAL GOOD ONE* thanx i enjoyed it. at
least i didnt' almost cry this time.  jk :) 

      you're hilarious ... You did get me with the crash thing, until my
friend who isn't so gullible told me it was april fools.

      sorry about the hd failure. i'm more than happy to offer any help i
can, or something.  here's what i have: [file list] it's scary how little
i've saved...guess i figgered the toolshed would always be there... 

      Whoa.. t.d.n. took a bit of a hit.. Hopefully it's no-one getting
their own back for that bus crash thing..  I guess this would make a
kickass April Fools joke actually.. :)  Anyhoo.. I've just checked one of
my old hard drives, and I have most of the articles, that digest
collection, and possibly even some of the graphics in my cache.. (not sure
about the last one..) 

       I can't believe that I fell for your April Fool's day trick!
However, here in Australia, it is actually April 2 - but I still felt
like a dickhead.

      The daily check of your page was a bad April Fool's for a lot of
Tool fans.  Anyway, I have the text files for the lyrics of the three
albums if that helps any. I also have a few jpgs which I will list, name
then discription, [file list]

      i thought it seemed a little fishy... but being the gullible nice
guy i am i went ahead and submitted some things you could snag....  that
was a good one.  and i think more believable then last years.  being
familiar with hard drive failures it seemed logical....  blegh.  once
again i am thankful i happened not to look at t.d.n. last april fools :)
good one kabir, and keep it up

gave me a heart attack. Man that was some scary shite.

       shame on you for such a naughty April Fools trick... you gave me
quite the heart attack.

       haha cool joke, i guess. at first i was like "holy fuck. that
sucks." then i started goin to temp internet files and browser history
archives (working as a professional internet designer teaches you how to
do this stuff pretty well :-) ) and i hit something and it was pullin
shit off the server, so i was like "wait a minute.. that's not right."
and then i submitted that i had all sorts of shit and then you were like
APRIL FOOLS!" so i was like "damnit. that's what i thought. oh well."

       put me on top of a stick and lick me; i am a HUGE sucker. i
didn't even think about it being april fool's day.  great joke!

       you little........ well, last year's bus incident didn't get me,
but this year......hook, line and sinker!  well done, and btw TDN is now
completely backed up on my hard drive.

      Huh.  When I don't go to, but rather go to, it is all there.  Happy April Fools to you too.

      fuckin' computers eh? I just found out what happened. That's the
shits. ... I just had a brainwave. This _could_ be the ultimate April
Fool's day trick you're pulling here. Hmmmm. You know, if you were
planning something big, this would do it. I hope that this is just an
April Fool's prank and not for real.

      buddy is this serious? or a joke? really man, this isn't good if
it's true, fuck o' mighty.... -- Greg Wason

       When I checked TDN today, your message about network shutdown
appeared. If this is correct, and not just another case of Australian
Tour Bus Tragedies upon the first of April, I hope the site can quickly

       K, Sorry to hear about the crash...I usually hit  the site so
much that I have a totally cached copy, but I cleared my cache
yesterday(figures), so this is what I have: [file list]

      Your April Fools jokes are the BEST!  You shouldn't have even
mentioned April Fools in your note on the computer crash.  Like last
year, I would have never remembered and thought it was true.  However,
if you type /news or /tour, and so on after, it
becomes clear that t.d.n is still up and running. My hat's off to you,

      You rule on so many levels, Kabir. Hats off to the master of April
Fool's Day trickery. That was so money. P.S. Still need those files? Ha

      Kabir, you asshole.  Nice joke.  Think you'll end up on MTV? I
knew I should have thought twice.  Oh well.  Once again, nice joke.

      you little bastard, last time i was sure you were yanking my
chain, but you really had me this time...oh if i only lived in florida
:)  (grumble)

      i'm feeling about 80% your joking and 20% your telling the truth.
oh well.  i hate april fools day

      I would have fallen for it if my link wasn't directly to the news
page. ;) Hope you get a giggle from the shiny happy people.

      YOU GOT ME YOU BASTARD!!! (very good!)

      y'knokw, i could still learn to hate you... duly schooled, i am.
thank you :)

      Great joke, Kabir. Better than last year.

      I hope you realise there's not a person on earth that believes you

      you fooled me for about an hour..................should have
known. that was a good one.

      DAMNIT!!! ahhhhh!!!!! fair...i was freakin out cause i
thought that the tool page was gone, ahhh!!! i go there like every night
and read more or just look at stuff. oh well...damnit!

      So I log on to T.D.N. and I find out I missed the April Fool's
joke of the year! Only 23 hours? C'mon! Next year mke it 24. Please?

      Jesus Christ.  The minute I saw it i thought "kabir couldnt top
last year..." hehe.   I went into #front242 on efnet to see lauri and
the fucking topic was saying how shitty it was t.d.n was down... You
scared me shitless last year..

      Your April Fool's Joke was not funny!  I honestly tried to think
of how I could help or if I had saved anything from the site!  Totally
bad taste.

      Greetings, Kabir.  You know, I don't know how I manage to ignore
the calendar when, year after year on April 1, some horrendous calamity
befalls one or more of my favorite websites and/or mailing lists.  Damn,
I always say to myself upon receiving news of the awful event, that sure
does suck.  Then a day later, still mourning the loss, I always slap
myself on the forehead and curse myself for a fool when "April Fools!"
is declared.  Anyway, good prank, and thanks for making me feel like an

      ...and a bunch of long lists of files.  What can I say.  Thanks a
lot; hopefully it won't ever come to needing them.

See you next year. (maniacal laughter).


"Your pal" Kabir Akhtar (