tool news

April Fools' Day 1999

Ahh, for the third year running, t.d.n presented webvisitors with a prank on April Fools' Day. All day on April 1st, 1999, the April Fools' Day message below was posted to the News section of this site, another example that we must be careful what we believe.

By the way, while it is common haps on the Official Site to offer up some false news occasionally, be not confused: the home of the annual April Toolin' around is in fact this site. Some folks referred to a joke by "them"; in reality, all three April Fools pranks so far (the bus crash in Australia, the site crash, and this one) were brainchildren of yours truly, the sick individual who runs this site.

The Original Posting

[4/1/99] - Well, it turns out that the MP3s of the demo versions of "Floorpail" and "Anagram" which were available earlier from Mr. Loki's website are not online there anymore. He says he "didn't like being flooded with mail asking for a copy of the original tape," and "didn't want to get his source in trouble anyway". However, a bunch of people have put the two files up on their own home pages (I was asked not to link them), so you might try running a web search for those titles. Again, there are finally demo versions of two new Tool songs, tentatively titled "Floorpail" and "Anagram", floating around. Lyrics should be posted shortly (trust me, that "on the flooooooor!" bit is really catchy). Someone with connections finally came through.  - On to more serious matters: some of you may be aware that April 19 is the 7-year anniversary of the release of "Opiate", and with that status comes potential further legal trouble. According to the band's management, Tool's original bass player Paul D'Amour has so far not agreed to renew the distribution contract the band originally signed in 1992. It seems he is trying to get the band to give him more than his fair share of the royalties in order to compensate him for not being able to participate in their continued success since he was removed from the band in 1995. The upshot of all of this is that unless they come to terms by week's end, "Opiate" will not be distributed to stores until matters are resolved. The rest of the band had no comment, though Billboard Magazine is predicting a surge in the sales of the record beginning today: April Fools' Day.

The Answers

As with last year's joke, I spent some time mulling over various ideas for this year, but in the end, it was another last-minute quickly-concocted plan which made its way online. (Yes, it was prepped a little with a news post a few days early about a "rumor" of demo MP3's being available). But once again, I figured that nothing would live up to the media blitz, backlash, and splendor of the 1997 Bus Crash, so I didn't focus on creating the sensational, merely the plausible.

This year's prank was more puzzled together; the solution involved realizing not only that "Floorpail" and "Anagram" were not real songs, but that the word "floorpail" is an "anagram" ... as in, rearrangement of letters ... of "April Fool." "Mr. Loki" refers to Loki, the Norse god of treachery and mischief (OK, that was really obscure). And no, "Opiate" is not about to be dropped from distribution.

Some folks figured it out entirely, some knew it was a joke but didn't necessarily put it all together, and one or two failed to realize that I made this all up, asking if *I* had figured out. And no, the "Tool member in jail" hoax was not my doing, it was a post to the Official Tool Site which happened to coincide with this week, and in doing so gave some folks a heads-up to the day of fun. Ah well.

The Responses

Many of the letters I got this year were like those from years past. Some other clever folks led people further astray by offering them MP3's of old showtunes, but I didn't have anything to do with that. Some other sites posted info about there being two new songs out, and did go a bit buggy over the whole thing. Anyhow, here are some of the best, presented anonymously as always.

haha, at least this year's april fool isn't as contraversial as last

Very funny. Floorpail is an anagram for April fool. I have to admit, I
actually did a search for the titles before I realized it.

You just HAVE to prey on us fans hungry for new tunes, don't you??!!??
"Anagram"?  "Floor Pail"? I should have worked it out BEFORE spending 2
hours frantically searching for MP3's... I SWEAR I've been looking on the
internet for the past 45 minutes and can't find them. I've done searches
and looked at so many tool pages it's ridiculous.  So please...please if
you can without feeling extremly guilty, tell my battered brain where
these demos are!

just curious.."floorpail" contains all the letters for "April Fool"...what
does anagram contain all the letters for?

I have been a loyal tool fan since I first heard Opiate in '93. I have
bought nearly all of their merchandise and bootlegs and now I need your
tried every search engine on the net, the word Floorpail just doesn't want
to show up in any of them. So...... if you could please point me in the
right direction, that would be most appreciated.

Well, this april fools prank was certainly planned out well, although its
just not very beliveable when you search the web for 3 hours looking for
IN THEM? hehe the other thing that killed it is the fact that if there
were something new about tool like new songs, t.d.n would have it..i doubt
you would basically tell us to go find it ourselves if it was news, so i
would hope the same theory applys to new material..all in all its a good
aprils fools prank, as im still gonna search for info on those two
songs...hehe at least we got to keep access to the site this year :P

April 1st is always good times at the toolshed.  How many people have
written you back asking where to find those songs? A little more subtle
this year, but amusing all the same.

I hungrily searched the web for the 2 demos but have been able to hunt
them down. Please...I am at your mercy....ANY info you have that could
further lead me on my quest would be very appreciated.

Your April Fools Day plot worked again Kabir.  I want so badly to look for
two demo songs, but I somehow doubt I'll find them.  At least this year
there will only be frustration and not sheer panic.

if you're lying about those new tool song mp3s exsisting, i'll have to
give you a spanking.

You didn't get me this year.....If those songs were out there, one of my
methods of locating them would have yielded something.  This leaves me to
guess its just another one of your April Fool's jokes.  The fact that I
went looking for the songs...does that mean I've been had? :-)  If it
matters, I was skeptical the whole way through the search :-).

i sure wish i hadn't just spent an hour looking for those mp3s before
realizing the joke.  how quickly we forget the lessons of the past =)

You really got me at first with Floorpail, I searched every server in
existance, but Anagram totally gave it away Floorpail = Anagram for= April
Fool btw, That was really harsh, do you know how many people you gave an
immediate erection too? I almost called in sick to work!

wow, you were remarkably tame this year. no one died?

you are an evil evil man for pulling that practical joke of saying that a
demo with two songs on it are out--april fools day was made for laughter,
not tears and anger--man oh man--what a mouse hunt you sent me on?--you
got me--keep up the good work

You had me this time with the mp3's, I'm impressed and surprised I didn't
catch on.  Good one...

Very nice. Although I think Floorpail and Anagram gave way too much away.
Definitely not as good as the bus crash two years ago. That one had me
going for a while until I realized what day it was.

maybe just a hint at where I can find the 2 demos. I've been searching for
hours! this is killing me! please reply!  I'll be your best friend!!!!

thank you for the april fool's joke.  you were the only person all day to
get me, and that's saying something :)  congrats on yet another
outstanding gag :)

Nice try with the anagram/floorpail thing, but you didn't get me with the
Austrailian bus wreck, (one of the best April Fool's jokes ever) so you
didn't even have a chance with the floorpail/aprilfool thing.  I like it
though.  I hope eMpTV runs some kind of article on it this time too...  
"In other news, apparently demo versions of two new Tool songs have been
leaked onto the internet by an unnamed source...blah, blah, blah."

excellent site! and news coverage on those mp3's. although you forgot to
mention that maynard was being replaced by the former Ginger Spice for the
upcoming album.

Every April 1st you make me feel like a complete dipshit.........I fell
for your dastardly prank again...........I thought the Paul part was the
prank, and I immediately started my internet search for Floorpail and
Anagram..........then later I went back to try again, and was looking at
the word floorpail trying to figure out what its meaning is, and then the
anagram hit me in the face, and I felt like a fool.....fittingly

sigh... i'm a retard.  thanks for making that abundantlye clear to me.  
to think that i actually went looking for floopail anagram... well, at
least this year it was actually funny.

Good April Fools Joke, but still not as good as the bus accident.

Kabir, you are truly a devious ass.  This year, I was ready for you. After
all, it's April 1st.  I'm a reasonably intelligent individual. I'm noted
for my quick wit and sharp mind.  But I fell for the damn April Fool's
joke again.  I must say, yes, I feel like a sheep, but this was certainly
the most clever April Fool's joke you've done to date.  I love it, you
friggin' bastard.

that was a very clever april fools day joke, kabir.  you had me going up
until i actually heard the songs and figured out the puzzle, with the help
of a fellow conspirator on irc. hehe.  although, i must admit my
disappointment.  i would be just as excited as you to hear new tool

You punk!!!! hahahaha.  I keep falling for this shit. never again my
friend! lol - good one.

Doh.  You set that one up well.  Call me the fool, but don't call me

Yes yes.....well.....I'll have to admit. That was a brilliant little
anagram. You played on my innermost desires (new Tool) and fears (the
thought of people being deprived of their Opiate). Nicely done.

I remember the bus accident prank which made me question this one but you
got me with the,"on the floooor is really catchy" that truly sounds like a
maynard line as well as song title!! Good Job man you got me!

Your April Fools' Day jokes are the best.  Keep up the good work.

i just wanted to sasy i thought yesterdays prank was Awsome ! i told my
friends i would give them 100 $ if they found it it and watched yell and
screem and the computer looking for a song that said aprilfools all over

Great job man i feel so fucking stupid right now, great job man!

You know I feel like a retard now.  You'd think after YEARS of reading TDN
(especially after the bus accident incident), I'd have figured that shite
out.  Oh well, I think it came from me not having known TDN was back up
for months.  Thus, those "rumored tracks" I thought had actually been
around for days.

Anagram...Floorpail...{giggle, snort, kretch} We always gotta keep on our
toes around you...I actually got through about 3 MP3 search engines before
I realized the "Anagram" of "Floorpail". This one is definately better
than last years, but, nothing will top making Kurt Loder look like a
dipshit a few years back...

... not to mention LOTS of people writing and asking as nicely as they could for a copy or location of the files. Thanks for playing. See you next year. (maniacal laughter).

Check Old News for info on previous April fun.


"Your pal" Kabir Akhtar (