A Review of the Fall 1996 Tour

Date: October 30

From: gigwidth@cyberg8t.com Subject: american legion hall - LA - OCT. 30th review Tonight I accomplished what had to be done at any cost: SNEAK INTO THE EXCLUSIVE KROQ HALLOWEEN PARTY WITH TOOL God damn radio station ... tix were only available by winning them on KROQ (a local L.A. station). Hell, I even offered my first born child and they wouldn't even tender the offer. My thumb still reels from hitting the reset button on my telephone ...the result of several unsuccessful attempts to win tickets. It is my understanding that the cost of a 1-800 number is absorbed by the recipient ... to spite this radio station, KROQ, I welcome people to call their 1-800# which is 1-800-520-1067 ... call in and request "Stuck on you" by Failure which has been getting a lot of airplay recently. Hopefully you live in Florida or the east coast and justifiably run up their stinking phone bill. Also, if anyone from management is reading this ... you fucking blew it! I think the tool website is rad ( http://www.toolband.com), however you missed out on an opportunity to give true TOOL fans the opportunity to attend this exclusive show. They should have had some kind of contest where you could win tix. Hell, for that case they should have contests for every single fricking date ... enough angst though. Anyhow, here's a production tip for y'all: where there's a will there's a way. Also, security doesn't usually show up to a venue until an hour before doors. My friend Jeremy and I showed up to the American Legion Hall. A formidable venue mind you. There were clips of movies projected onto the side of the building ... the outside was fully decorated with Halloween decorations ... dry ice ... that sort of shit. Anyhows, we walked along the side of the building ... saw an open door and walked in. It was around 7:45. Doors were supposed to be at 8 or 8:30. There wasn't a security guard in site. PIECE OF CAKE! Actually its kind of funny since the KROQ DJs were warning people about sneaking in. I called them up and asked them if they really expected people not to sneak in. His reply is "It would be best if you didn't try bro, there's going to be a lot of security. Gravity Kills has their security, and we're going to be out front, we also have an outside security company." This guy didn't know what the fuck he was talking about. Bands the size of Gravity Kills don't carry their own security ... what a dumb ass. Another pointer: radio stations are pretty fucking clueless with regards to production aspects of an event. Not only did KROQ mention where this exclusive show was going to be, they had the audacity to put a half page full color ad in the local weekly stating the time doors were going to open. Now, do you expect any self proclaimed tool fanatic to miss reverend maynard in action knowing these details? ... I think not. Mind you this was a pre-halloween costumed event. So everyone was dressed in costume. I myself was Ultra-man. Jeremy was a demented surgeon. I bumped into Christian, who's the assistant monitor tech on the TOOL tour. Looks like the boys are going to be doing another U.S. leg starting in January. He also mentioned that the band is actually very health conscious. Maynard has a personal trainer out on tour with him and he's also carrying his weights around. Christian mentioned that the band is very down to earth, oftentimes arriving to venues on their bus in the wee hours of the mornings and forgoing hotels. Its good to see that the band is still grounded. What did I think of Gravity Kills? I didn't ... they sucked. They did do a cover of depeched mode's "own personal jesus". 1 1 : 0 0 pm ... or thereabouts. Tool walks on stage. Danny, Justin, and Adam are all painted in red and are not wearing shirts. Reverend Maynard is stripped down to nothing but a pair of TOOL boxer shorts and painted in red. Evil can now begin ... the band plays the following songs: - s t i n k f i s t - 4 6 & 2 - i n t o l e r a n c e - e u l o g y - h o o k e r w i t h a p e n i s (maynard starts of this song by saying "this song is for my girlfriend, BRAD WILK (drummer for rage) - p r i s o n s e x (once again, they play an extended ending with added verses) - j i m m y (once again, tells audience that this is sort of a sequel to prison sex) - p u s h i t (jeremy makes the observation that maynards voice is so on... even the part at the end) - s o b e r (there is a long-ass intro to this song ... during the intro maynard sat on the stage ... indian style ... looking as if he was meditating ... playing around with what looked like a fake rubber hand) - o p i a t e (starts off the song by saying "this is our last song ... on our first album" ...what a joker ... anyhows during the beginning of the song, maynard takes a wooden cross and sticks it down his boxers. Near the end of the song he took it out of his shorts ... performing fellatio on it, before tossing it out to the audience. My buddy jeremy ended up snagging it and is going to be creating a shrine to tool ... interested visitors can e-mail me and I'll give you all the details.) - a e n i m a (before playing, reverend maynard states "I pray for this for you every day" ... how appropriate as we were in L.A. and let me tell you ... L.A. is one fucked up place ... LEARN TO SWIM) I had a great view of the stage. There were probably only about 600 people or so in attendance. There was a miniature mosh pit going on most of the time. Maynard does have some great reflexes as he dodged several flying projectiles throughout the show. KROQ passed out glow sticks ... dumb asses ... they quickly turned into projectiles. There was no projection for this show ... so I guess I'm going to have to wait to see the stinkfist video. Maynard was entertaining as usual ... contorting as only he can. I think the band was a little bit more psyched when I saw them play at the glass house in pomona, but it was a great show nevertheless. here's something kinda funny, kinda fucked ... I talked to a guy after the show who payed $32 for a ticket to get into the show. Don't be a fuck ... don't sell out your fellow tool fan. P.S. For all of you in L.A. who missed the show ... TOOL's playing the UNIVERSAL AMPITHEATRE on December 19th with Psychotica. Tickets go on sale on Saturday, November 9 @ 10am via ticketcrapper. call for tix: 213-252.TIXS. -- >>m i k e | l i n : gigwidth web development DDD E V I A N T : http://www.gigwidth.com [ end of transmission ] : http://www.warpedtour.com