A Review of the Fall 1996 Tour

Date: November 11

From: shaggy (shaggy@oz.sunflower.org) The Cows opened the sold out show at Memorial Hall to an unreceptive crowd. They seemed to have even less talent than the Frogs and Marilyn Manson; a feat I never thought possibe. The vocalist, clad in a wrap-around bra tattoo, tried to cover his harsh, unrhythmic howls with awful horn playing, head stands, and a brief stint of 'the robot.' He even pulled a sling shot on my friend Kelly, but didn't have the balls to shoot it. After 45 minutes of torture, the vocalist attempted his second head stand, in front of the right stack, and was mugged by two security guards who thought he was someone who jumped on stage. Needless to say, he was fairly pissed. It was the only highlight during the Cows' set, though. After what seemed ages, Tool finally took the stage with two statues of the contortionist. Maynard came out in boxers and his right side drowned in blue paint. They began with "Third Eye," a good song, but not one of opening material. The rest of the set sounded much like the album versions, a feat not often created in live shows. I was right up in front of Justin and caught a pretty good view of the stage, along with a strong pit. Maynard had the most piercing eyes and moved about in a rubber-like manner. Behind the band, two giant projection screens showcased a lot of trippy scenes like an animated Aenima cover, elephants fucking, tribesmen dancing, an evolving man, turning gears, and the videos of their singles. All in all, the show was pretty damn good, minus the Cows. I still think their last show in '94 was a bit better, mostly in part of Failure and the Flaming Lips opening, but it was still worth every penny. I tried to remember everything that Maynard said, so here's what Maynardisms I recall, to the best of my ability: "Kansas City. It's good to be back." "This is Justin. He's not from Kansas, but he means well." (on 'Cold and Ugly') "This one goes out to Dale Carrey. So whenever you see him around here for the next month, be nice to him and buy him some beers." (on 'Jimmy') "This is kinda a sequel to 'Prison Sex.' I'll let you figure it out." (on 'H') "You ever watch Warner Brothers' cartoons? You know those episodes where a guy has to make a decision and he has the little cartoon angel and devil on each shoulder trying to help him out? They both mean well, but they might not be in the best interests of the guy." (on 'Hooker') "This song has to do with blame. It involves everyone. It has to do with not pointing the finger." [Midway through the song, a bodybuilder glad in a black rubber, studded gimp mask came out and posed in different flexes.] "That was Killer Kirk Williams." (on 'Opiate') "This is our last song...(crowd disapproval)...on our first album (crowd roars). [After the song] "That song had to do with religion. Every religion over time has had the same basic concepts. 1. Be cool to each other. You're all one so treat each other good. 2. Evolution of the facts. Everything goes fine until someone has to think they're in charge, be it Gandi, Christ, or Budda." (on 'Aenema') "This song has the same concept as the last, just not by very positive means." [After song is over, band exits the stage with Maynard flashing a peace sign.] Setlist for Kansas City, Kansas show 11/11/96 1. Third Eye 2. Stinkfist 3. 46 & 2 4. Prison Sex 5. Cold and Ugly 6. Jimmy 7. Eulogy 8. H 9. Hooker with a Penis 10. Sober (with a ten minute intro) 11. Opiate 12. Aenema - SHAGGY