Ahh, can you believe it? This was the fifth year of April Fools' madness here at The Tool Page, and this year looks like it was a success. Of course, when do I not say that? Some people are still convinced that this gag is pulled off by the band; it is merely a concoction of my own sleep-deprived mind. Anyhow, read on for the joke, the impact, the reactions, and the general mayhem.
As before, the message below (posted to News all day on April 1, 2001) was just another example that we must be careful what we believe. Especially when I just randomly quote a large chunk of a Rolling Stone article ... you might want to consider that I made it up. Come on, nobody writes with language this flowery...
The Original Posting[04/01/01] - A lot of you have already sent in mail about this, sorry it didn't get posted until just now. An exclusive interview with Danny posted to Rolling Stone's website last night includes a statement from him confirming the rumor that has been going around (I didn't want to post it until it was 100% certain) that effective today, he will no longer be playing with Tool. Here is the relevant secti on of the article:
The front page of the site was changed to say:
something awful has happened
The News page featured this post:
Tool's drummer extraordinaire, Danny Carey, arguably the most under-recognized percussionist of our time, shocked this reporter with the flat-out statement "I am leaving Tool." But why would someone who has enough fans that a parade could be held in his honor vacate the drummer's stool of the art metal juggernaut now, as the band is poised to release the most anticipated LP in years? And why tell a journalist who was just stopping by the office to hear the new record for the first time, maybe conduct a brief interview about his opinion of the fans? A soft-spoken drawl brings the answers. "There comes a time when everybody has to realize what is right for them, and what they are on this earth to do." Citing other bands who have gone on without their drummers, notably REM without Bill Berry and the Smashing Pumpkins without Jimmy Chamberlain, he says that he knows Tool will continue to excel musically without him. "Those other bands went on strong even after losing a member," points out Carey from his Malibu beach house. "I know the guys will pick up the pieces just as we did when Paul [D'amour, Tool's original bassist] left. We're all still friends, and I'm sure I will miss the creative process we have all shared ... but now is the time for me to go." The journalist, his hand shaky as he fumbled with his tape recorder, looked down for a minute, then looked back up at the large frame of Carey - only to find he wasn't standing there anymore. And just like Keyser Soze - he was gone.The articles goes on to say that "Lateralus" will be released on schedule, and that all scheduled tour dates have not as yet been cancelled. A spokesperson for the band's management was quoted as saying "Tool is very sorry to see one of their founding members leave so abruptly. There are no bad feelings between any of the band members, and we all wish Danny well." The full article will hopefully be posted here soon. No word has come in yet about who Tool is thinking of getting to fill on might do the job. This picture accompanies the original article posting, It is indeed a sad day in Tool land. Tool has set up a special website with information on Danny's departure; I don't have any information other than what is posted there, so don't send in email to me - keep your eye on dannyleavestool.com.
That last link popped up a new window saying:
You are now leaving toolshed.down.net.
You will automatically be transported to dannyleavestool.com in a few seconds.
While you are waiting, Happy April Fools' Day.
The EffectI was worried about 4/1 being on a Sunday, since hits do drop to the site over weekends, but more people wrote in this year than any year since 1997. The reactions were varied as always, but the tone was very different. Most people who wrote in did in fact fall for it until they clicked through to the "Happy April Fools" page, but even those who didn't all seemed to agree this that this year's prank was more funny-since-you-fell-for-it than I-actually-believed-it.
Many folks went so far as to compare this year's fun to that of years past, many saying that I "could never outdo the 1997 Bus Crash", a few saying that "I probably wasn't even trying to" (I'm not, by the way -- that was just serendipitous), and a whole lot of people trying to rank this one against the others. People seemed to think this was the best one yet, people thought that this one "fell flat" and was hardly believable or funny. Either way, this one continued the trend of odd-year jokes having a better effect (1999's "Floorpail" gag gets more fanmail than 2000's "April 31st show" and 1998's Hard Drive Crash).
In fact, two websites picked up the story and posted it as if it was their own - wickedland.com and at brakeout.net had the following post:
Rolling Stone reports that Danny Carey, in a recent interview, has decided to quit the band. The band claims there are no grudges and they whish him the best in the future. There is no word yet of who the replacement will be for Tool's upcoming tour, but rumors are spreading that APC's Josh Freeze may fill in. wickedland.com: 2001-04-01 14:02:26 CST by Matt Konrardy (source: toolshed.down.net).Come on. Keyser Soze? Apologies to Rolling Stone for mocking their style.
The ResponsesSo apart from faking out a few other sites, nobody took it waaay too seriously. Well, a few people report calling friends of theirs in tears, but that's hardly serious damage, is it? Here's what a few of y'all had to say, including the main themes: soiling yourself, suggesting Maynard leaving would have been better, admitting tears and fear, saying your heart stopped, calling me a bastard...Ha Ha! You fucking got me, goddamn it. That was very believable, man. Awesome job. I really thought he was leaving (almost called my girlfriend and fellow Tool fan at 1 A.M.). Every year, man, you pull it off beautifully. Nice one. that was pretty good, but predictable, not as good as the site being down one a couple of years ago,but got a laugh though, your latest news posting sent more than a few alarm bells ringing. Now, i'm not the sharpest tool in the shed(all puns intended), but i've been caught out with the old Tool April fool thing before. Not this time though!! I guess there must be quite a few newbies out there who are frantically running around their school yards spreading this like wildfire. That scared the shit out of me. I was shocked to the core man. Thank you for not waiting a whole day to post the fakeness hahah well done man, you got me and all my friends GOOD with that danny carey thing...i almost started crying !! i fully thought it was true...GODDAMN!! Bravo, one of the best april fools gags ive ever seen. *clap* *clap* *clap* Nice one Kabir... If I wasn't expecting it, I would've been fooled... after the crappy april fools jokes I've seen so far today, it's nice to see one done right.... after a few years of falling victim to your april 1st madness... i finally remembered what day it was and didn't fall for it this time! this was a good one, though. i suppose that the emotional trauma of the bus incident from a previous year should be enough to keep me from ever falling for another one... Damn, you bastard! Every friggin' April 2nd, I say... "I'll never let Kabir fool me again...", and then 364 days later, every April 1st, I feel my blood curdle, and I get a lump in my throat as I fear something terrible has happened to my favorite band... only to realize it's April 1st again... Pezzo di merda, figlio di puttana. :) Keep the tradition alive. dannyleavestool.com, Keyser Soze, icing on the cake. that was one mean fuckin trick. i just called 15 of my tool-buddies and we cried our eyes out over his leaving. again, that was one mean fucking trick damn i feel stupid, nice gag man, fucking good. my ass is sitting here all like 'why isnt on the official site, this sucks" then it hits me. the april fools day joke was the best yet...[aside from the band burning to death in a tour bus crash]-- you really had me on the verge of tears [i think]... I thought the April Fool's Day joke was hilarious. I knew it was coming as soon as I saw the picture on the front page. I was sort of hoping the DannyLeavesTool link would have taken the gag even further though. Come on man...you coulda been more subtle this year, though I suppose everyone is expecting the joke, so that makes it pretty tough. Well, perhaps it was because I was expecting it, but the april fool's joke seemed to fall a little flat this year. Now's your chance to start thinking up a really great one for next year... A better April Fools would have been if you said Lateralus was delayed another four or five months. nice work, dickhead! i only visited the page today for the first time in a while to see what you had. frankly, i was disappointed. you can do better. "and just like keyser soze.." dork! next year you should do a happy one. when i saw the picture on the intro page i thought danny died or something, that would have been slightly more scary than the best drummer of all time leaving the best band of all time. I dont think you were fooling anyone with this one. I think you need to give the april fools thing a rest for a few years. cause thinking of something year after year that people would really believe just can't be done very easily. The "news" stopped my heart and almost broght me to tears. then as I click on the dannyleavestool.com link, and read what it said, i sat there staring at my screen saying "oh my Fucking god" over and over. Good thing I'm on the track team or else i think i would've had a heart attack. you know, the danny leaving tool thing was scary...but all my fears went from 99% nonexistent to 100% non-existent when i read the supposed quote from danny stating that bands such as REM went on strong without their original drummers...could you see danny jamming out to "lotus?" Damn You ..I have fallen for your april fool trick EVERY FUCKING YEAR, and not once have i realised it.....I experiacned the most gut wrenching feeling when i read that..." No not danny....no...anything but that...no.." i hope you rot in a silent non musical hell. The April Fools Joke was not funny at all. I almost started crying when I read that Danny left. But, I guess it's my fault. I should've guessed it being that it is a tool page. I just wanted to let you know that. i applaud your writing skills-i was convinced. m'be that's because our drummer recently departed my band, but nonetheless, excellent joke-you are a true traditionalist. excellent job. well if i hadn't come to site expecting an April Fool's Day prank I would probably have crapped myself. Although you didn't trick me this year im still laughing over....'and like keyser soze-he was gone'...talk about over dramatizing even the real possibility of danny leaving. its shyte like this that i come back here for still not as good as the death, but this one is close, considering danny is god you are a brilliantly funny man......and a jerk.i so bought it Best April Fools gag since the bus accident. I knew it was bogus just ebcause of the t.d.n. April Fool tradition but it's great how it looks all official and everything. if you believe for a minute that any tool fan is going to think about this for more than a second.. i guess the jokes on you.. i was hoping for something more original, how disappointing. The comical genius that once was toolshed is slowing getting worse. I guess the onyl way to truly salvage this april fools joke was if it was true.. then again, that would in no way be funny! rather a great loss to us all. you almost got me... and only cause I'm all doped up on cold medicine. The picture kinda gave it away to be a joke but shit good one! As much as I rate your website, to someone who had just finished a database assignment for University at 11.58 pm, that was very cruel!!! I feel like a big stupid catfish,with hook firmly imbedded in jaw. I shooda known better! I realize this was probably the greatest april fool's day gag EVER, and I'm also glad that you did let those of us in on it who would have never guessed, being the unobservant oafs that we are sometimes, but dude, you had me in TEARS! I was horrified. Not PC! OK, but anyway, great joke, Thanks for the early morning heart attack. Fell for it hook, line & sinker. nice one but as tool's april fools jokes go, it's not the best really is it? it's made us all worried... i must say tool's jokes are usually in better taste... Just as I was pondering over the best way to get my friends and coworkers with a spetacular April Fool's prank, you nail me from behind. Maybe it's just exhaustion, being up all night at work, and all, but I never saw it coming. Love the Keiser Soze reference. "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making people believe he didn't exist." Is it just me or does Maynard look like that dude from N'Sync? Hehe. dude, if that about danny is an april fools joke...then you are a dick. if it is true, i am sorry. I knew before I go to your website that there would some kind of Tool breakup for April fools day. Although I was prepared for this joke, I'm kind of in shock thinking that this might some kind of terrible nightmare. Eventhough I check this site everytime I'm on the net, right now I think you're a dick, but your hard work for keeping me up to date on Tool will certainly make me forgive you. Okay Kabir. Nice one. Last year I had a verbal fight with lots of people about the whereabouts of the Tool show that was happening on "April 31" and none of us caught on. It lasted all day. This year, however, I came to the site SPECIFICALLY to see what the prank was going to be. Beautiful. You'll have lots of people spooked! Ha! Jesus Christ, you are the man! I was friggin floored when I read the news section of the page. Then, I clicked on the link and saw the words "Happy April Fools' Day." That was a good one. kabir you are an ass. I'll be honest, though; you had me sitting there, thinking i might need to have surgery done to replace my jaw, which had just recently shattered due to a sudden impact with the cold floor. Then I looked at the date, collected my scattered thoughts, and starting writing you this note. The April fool's joke has become a staple to the site and I'm glad you kept it in place. With this page as my start page, it always loads and as soon as I saw the picture on the main index page, I knew it was that time of spring. You only caught me with the "floorpail" "anagram" one though, sorry to dissapoint. After hours of searching MP3 sites I learned my lesson 2 years ago. April Fools.... although my heart stopped beating for about 30 seconds... now, it has returned... seven beats per measure. I know its apirl fools day and everything but thats just not funny, There was actually a fraction of a second in which I thought you were serious, shame on you, only good news from now on please GAHHHHHH!!! I've been fooled by your April Fools jokes the last two years in a row. This year I *promised* myself that I would remember April first and automatically disregard anything Toolshed had posted. Well, stupid me, I forgot what today was and my heart sunk when I read that Danny Carey was leaving Tool. It wasn't until I clicked on your link and saw "Happy April Fools' Day. " that it all became clear. That is the meanest fucking April Fool's day prank ever man!!!!! why would you even do something that mean! but yet I am still intrigued and curious, as if there is a little bit of truth to the matter. is it for real?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Umm Not funny bout Danny. Then again I didnt believe it for a second Kabir. Danny leaves!? No offense, but there didn't seem to be much effort put into this years joke. The bus crash joke was outstanding. Chances are you will never be able to outdo that one. i knew that april fools joke was coming. nice try though... more predictable each year.. haha.. *sigh* I must admit that you had me for about two seconds, and I think I spent those seconds looking at Maynard's flat-top wig. Those two seconds are all you need, so kudos. Good one this year, but I liked last year's April 31 concert better. Though it might be less believable, I would love to have seen the explanation being that Danny unlocked the secrets of Crowley and decided to pursue a life of black magick instead. Great picture. Very well done. I was definately fooled by the whoe news article. I give you my applause. i think i'm getting used to the annual april 1st prank you pull on all of us. it only took me about 45 seconds to realize that this was a hoax. although if i wouldn't have known the date i'd probably be in silent mourning right now.... naughty naughty naughty naughty!!! I take it this was all an April fools joke?! I nearly wet my pants in horror and sorrow until I saw the message on the link page. Naughty, naughty, naughty!!! oh come on... you could have done better. like maybe posted a copy of schism, had people download it for 45 minutes, and have it turn out to be like 6 limp bizkit and papa roach songs or something. Well, bravo on the ingenius april fool's joke. I almost believed it until I got the notion to check the other two sites that I know would have said something of this. Namely Toolband, and Rolling Stone, and after discovering nothing at either location, I kicked back with a sigh of relief and chuckled to myself ..."..heheh, malibu beach house, heheh" Good God Kabir, couldn't you just leave the greatest april fools prank of all time to exist without any companions? I mean I am sure this will fool some people, mostly those who don't know of the horrible crash, but it is quite far fetched, maybe you could have posted an mp3 of "the entire album" and have it be some obscure showtune, that would have been classic. Oh well, I guess it's not the worst thing in the world, it might weed out a bit. At least you tried. you fucking bastard! i don't know how you do this every fuckin year but holy shit! i fall for this shit every time, i was like FLIPPIN man, it was un-fucking-believable. this is by far the best one to date. you should be shot and pissed on. haha good work man. one might think I'd stop falling for this shit by now. In my tired haze I seemed to have forgotten precisely what day it was fuggin excellent joke! i dont think anything will come close to the bus accident one though Great job with the april fools. I read the entire thing and sat with my jaw hanging open, making a mental list of friends to call and break the news to. Fortunately I realized it was a joke before I got to the phone. Very convincing--this is one of your best. Hey, that prank is befitting of the band. I do think, however, that as a source of news and information, you should not prank us. We are loyal readers. Quite frankly, I called half a dozen of my friends (and fellow tool fans) about the break up before I clicked the link. Now I look bad, and your site, which I cited as a source looks bad too. that was seriously the best april fools joke in years. i told all my friends that he left and then when i found out it was a joke i was soooo happy.. dont ever do that again. i almost cryed "the greatest trick TDN ever pulled was convincing the morons of the world that danny carey left tool!" very funny guys. I hope danny invites me to his malibu home someday and disappears. teeheehee. KABIR!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU BASTARD !!!!!!! I WAS ON THE PHONE TO MY BEST FRIEND TELLING HIM THE NEWS THAT DANNY QUIT TOOL, JUST AS I PRESSED dannyquitstool.com... AAAAAAARRRGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You totally kicked my ass man, that was just superb. Ok, first off, (because I know your going too), get out what ever you need to about me being "fooled". Now, is this thing about danny leaving an april fools day joke, or not. what an incredible co inky dink that danny left tool on april fools day. i even remebered all last week that it was coming up, and you still got me. did i really think you would post news updates so close together. good job, my hat is off to you. excellent joke you sick sadistic motherfucker. you had me near tears. now that i look back at the article without screaming, i see that the strong points were selecting the second most irreplacable member of the band and mentioning the "sucess" of REM and the pumpkins in the absense of their drummers wich is totally untrue of the pumpkins especially. so since i only know your e-mail address, bravo, but if i knew where you lived i'd punch you in the neck Damn, when i saw that picture, for a split second, i thought the band had broken up. It made my heart race like never before. And then, a second later, i remember. Your damn April Fool's jokes get me every year, even after I start looking forward to them in mid-March. Please tell me Maynard's Johnny Rotten haircut is part of the prank. DO YOU REALIZE JUST WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO THOSE OF US WHO ARE ALSO RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE FANS?!?!?!? Really, we're just getting over Zack's departure!!! I don't know how much more of this I can take!!! I don't know how you manage to top yourself every year, Kabir! You are the messiah of the online April Fools Day prank! As usual, you did a great job. Keep them coming, even at my heart's risk. Is this true? Did Danny really leave? toolband.com, doesn't mention this at all. great april fools gag. people were posting like mad on every message board. news reached as far as the official "at the drive-in" board. Nice april fools joke. I went from shock, then to acceptance - to worrying that my favorite band would not tour this year - and upon reading dannyleavestool.com, I merely muttered "Ahh fuck you"...and then relief. That "joke" was not fucking cool!!!!! With all of the members leaving other bands in the last year I wouldn't have been able to take another. This isn't the kind of shit you joke about. I don't give a shit what fucking day it is. You can kiss my ass. first of all, i'm a gullable son of a bitch. second, that was so wrong to do that. i totally forgot about april fools day. now excuse me as i clean the feces out of my pants. ...you son of a bitch!!!!! ha, ha ha. I remember last year's April Fools was pretty good and almost got me but this year REALLY had me going for a good five minutes or so. I can tell you put in a little extra time on this year's April 1st "news" (detailed description of the reporter's hands fumbling for the recorder, Kaiser Soze, etc) You FUCKER!!!! God, some things are just not nice to do, but I guess are funny as hell after the fact. Wow. Thats really all I have to say. I have been coming to this site religiously for about a year, and am aware of your april fools day jokes in the past. You nearly gave me a heart attack. I actually choked up while reading the tragic article accompanied with the picture. I'd personally like to thank you for allowing me to soil my boxers over the most cruel april fool's prank ever. Next time, please tell me that my mother has died, or that I have cancer from listening to Tool too much--anything but taking advantage of my sleepy state at the crack of noon by telling me that the greatest mind in percussions has left my greatest love in the music industry. That was dirty. I have been through many april fools with you and I still haven't learned. I feel like a fool but a am extremly happy that it was jsut a joke. Thanks for the heart attack.Maybe. Hopefully not =)
And this year's best letter:
It is truly amazing that one's memory has a life span of less then 365 days..... A dear friend of mine called me up less then an hour ago informing me of the sudden departure of Danny. He starts rambling on to me about how I ( an accomplished drummer) should make my way out to LA to audition as a replacement and that he has $20,000 to invest in my journey. I, not knowing whether I should believe him or not, decide to check your webpage to confirm the validity of this claim. About halfway through the article, it dawns on me what today is. I had to interrupt my dear friend, who was already on the other line with a travel agency booking my flight to LA to inform him that we were amongst the many unwilling victims in your annual April Tool's day fun. Maybe some year.... we will finally learn.
It is tough, everyone expecting one, people being prepared. 2002 might have another Foolish day, might not. I keep thinking it would be funny to just post an April Fools joke in the middle of the summer, just to fuck with everyone extremely. Imagine the hateful emails there would be.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled Tool Page.
Check Old News for info on previous April fun.