the tool page

this changes everything

This site is no longer being updated. See here for details. Follow me here (and here) for updates. Thank you for 22 great years.


the t.d.n mug

What better way to start off your morning than with an oversized mug which not only reminds you of your favorite website, but which also lets everyone know that you're on top of the online music scene!

This oversized mug makes a great gift to yourself or anyone who ever drinks liquids. Dishwasher and microwave safe; though as always, keep it away from your computer so you don't have an ugly spillage incident.

To get a sense of how well this mug (available in blue or orange lettering) will fit into your morning kitchen environment, be sure to check out the promotional photo below, taken backstage at Tool's recent concert at an estate in Bulgaria. PLUS if you order 3 mugs before the end of the month, you'll get one of the "Ænima" tiles featured in the promo pic! Only those 27 were made, so act now!

Order now: 1-800-TDN-MUG. Operators are standing by to take your American Express or Visa order. Only $39 per mug.

(Sorry, to protect your security, no online orders taken. After all, we all know, thanks to the news media, that the Internet aka "information superhighway" aka "infobahn" is a nightmare subculture of credit card insecurity and transnational child molesters. So of course you'll understand that, in order to not jeopardize your financial peace of mind or your daughter's virginity, no online orders are taken.)

Promotional Picture

(click to see the full-size version)

Wait, this is all just a joke. The 'net is not a psychohaven (entirely) and it should never be referred to as any kind of highway. Nothing on this page (including the tacky marketing speak or cocky attitude (honestly, I'm just kidding)) is for real. There are no mugs for sale. Dan Steadman just mentioned it in passing, and I had a couple of hours to kill.

I originally wrote this in December 1996, but didn't post it until May 1997. Anyhow, that's your t.d.n humor for the month. It has not been updated since, as you can tell by the hilariously-outdated references to then-current netspeak.

kabir/akhtar | kabir@t.d.n