the t.d.n mug
What better way to start off your morning than with an oversized mug which
not only reminds you of your favorite website, but which also lets
everyone know that you're on top of the online music scene!
This oversized mug makes a great gift to yourself or anyone who ever
drinks liquids. Dishwasher and microwave safe; though as always, keep it
away from your computer so you don't have an ugly spillage incident.
To get a sense of how well this mug (available in blue or orange
lettering) will fit into your morning kitchen environment, be sure to
check out the promotional photo below, taken backstage at Tool's recent
concert at an estate in Bulgaria. PLUS if you order 3 mugs before
the end of the month, you'll get one of the "Ænima" tiles featured
in the promo pic! Only those 27 were made, so act now!
Order now: 1-800-TDN-MUG. Operators are standing by to take your American
Express or Visa order. Only $39 per mug.
(Sorry, to protect your security, no online orders taken. After all, we
all know, thanks to the news media, that the Internet aka "information
superhighway" aka "infobahn" is a nightmare subculture of credit card
insecurity and transnational child molesters. So of course you'll
understand that, in order to not jeopardize your financial peace of mind
or your daughter's virginity, no online orders are taken.)
Wait, this is all just a joke. The 'net is not a psychohaven (entirely)
and it should never be referred to as any kind of highway. Nothing on
this page (including the tacky marketing speak or cocky attitude
(honestly, I'm just kidding)) is for real. There are no mugs for sale.
Dan Steadman just mentioned it in passing, and I had a couple of hours to
kill.
I originally wrote this in December 1996, but didn't post it until May 1997. Anyhow,
that's your t.d.n humor for the month. It has not been updated since, as you can tell
by the hilariously-outdated references to then-current netspeak.